Human at Last
by Illisandria Carthain
Summary: The missing scene from when Bug get's psychically linked to the brain-dead Starship Ranger to where he rescues Starship crew 15-A2. 1st-person/possible stream-of consciousness. T because it's a StarKid play  ie: language


I'm strapped to a gurney and being wheeled away just after I made the agreement with Pincer. I have to say, there is nothing scarier than having the opportunity to live out your dream with the slight side effect of dying by transferring minds with a human (well, there is but I don't want to bring it up; all I'm gonna say is one word: sex). Regardless of the entire ordeal being scary as pesticide, I'm pumped and can't wait to get that parasitic leach spores on my brain! I saw the human's face back when I was talking to Pincer and he is pretty damn good-looking for a human. He's got this rugged, brown hair (Is that what the fur atop a human's head is called?) that's slightly tousled, strong muscles, he's dressed sharp, and his jaw is slanted slightly to the right and it gives him this endearing, almost comical look that brings to mind a quirky personality to fit that face. He must have been a very useful officer to have been put into cryogenic stasis and not taken out after they landed. That makes me smile; he could be someone special, someone worthwhile, someone...important.

I've always wanted to be important - but not important like the other bugs, they want to roll dung or be eaten—but me, me! I want to be a Starship Ranger! I want to be part of G.L.E.E.! I want to traverse the universe (and maybe even the multiverse!) looking for new species to meet and new planets for humans to live on! I don't want to be some sorta' insignificant...BUG and die here, on this planet! I want to be different than the other bugs. I want to be worthwhile. I want to be HUMAN!

And here I am, just about to become one. The Mosquito brothers are strapping me to the gurney and soon, presto change-o, I'll be a human. Well...physically at least. My real body is supposed to be kept back here, at Pincer's hole, where it will be monitored to make sure I—the bug Bug—don't die for reals.

Ranting aside, I can feel the link between me and the human starting. It's like I'm being stretched to fit a space bigger than I can normally occupy and it hurts! I can feel my consciousness struggling to cope with the adjustment and it's failing.

Now my mental being, after being stretched beyond the point of pain, is slipping from my head into the Ranger's head, slithering it's way into the brain of something that is foreign and alien feeling. It's filling out the blank spots in the human's brain and trying to get a grip on his slowly-starting normal bodily functions.

Did you know that a human not only breathes for a longer period of time than a bug, but its heart beats faster? And the feeling of suddenly being so vulnerable on the outside after living a few cycles with a protective skeleton on the outside of you is foreign. I'm waking up to the rapid "Lub-dub! Lub-dub! Lub-dub!" of a human heart and the soft, squishy feeling of human skin against hard human internal bones. I move the human's head (my head?) and open my eyes, slowly accustoming myself with the thought of constantly having to blink to rewet my eyes (which were actually two, instead of a two thousand compounded into two large orbs). I raise my/the human's head and look around, wincing at the loud sound of my human spinal cord cracking.

"You awake yet, meatbag?" Veeto's buzzing is so muffled and far away compared to my previous hearing.

"Mmngh...," I moan, trying to force some words out of my clumsy human mouth. Not having mandibles and pincers to form words turns out to be a lot harder than one would expect! You have to form all these shapes with your mouth-skin and tongue and you articulate by forcing your vocal cords to vibrate and shaping the vibrations with air speed and the position of your teeth in comparison to your tongue and mouth-skin (which I think is called "lips"). I finally manage to speak though, "It...it worked...I think."

Veeto and Neato laughed and turned to Sweetheart, "Looks like th' transfer worked!" Veeto shouted.

"Yeah. So meatbag," Neato turned to me and smirked, "Ya ready ta go bring the humans here? Pincer said ya oughta be able ta do it pretty quickly!"

Sitting up, I nod, "I...I gotta get the hang of this human body first, then I'll be ready to get up and go. Lemme just, OH-MY-GREAT-MOTHER! Is that me?" I point to my comatose body with one meaty finger, amazed that my voice still sounds the same, even in this human flesh.

"Yeah, surprised?" Neato buzzes over and hovers near my eyes, "Ya look a lot different ta a human than ya do ta other bugs."

He is right, the colors that a human can perceive is so much less than that a bug can perceive. Where a bug sees ultraviolet and ultramarine and ultracrimson, a human only sees varying shades of red, purple, and orange (respectively). So, while normally my exoskeleton was a beautiful ultraviolet with sea-green highlights, to me as a human I looked like a large red and yellow ant. Bland, not at all special, exactly how I felt.

I stand up, finally, and wince at the feeling of my soft feet, encased in silver boots and white synth-cotton socks, hitting the packed dirt of Pincer's hole. My knees buckle once but I retry and stand up, slightly on the shaky side. I wave my hand in front of my face, getting used to the odd feeling of an internal skeleton. Then I hop up and down, yelling at the top of my lungs, waving my arms back and forth while keeping my heart beating and my lungs breathing. I finish my vigorous exercise, gasping, heart pounding. "Ah...that's...man..."

Veeto laughs, "Ha! Humans're weaker than us, aren't they?"

"Yeah," agrees Sweetheart.

I shake my head, frowning as I get slightly nauseous, "Humans are...they're pretty strong in their own right. For instance...," I stand up erect and, with one hand, punch a hole in one of the walls around me, bringing down some loose dirt, "I can do that whereas you have barely any strength in your spindly legs." Upon the hurt look on their faces, I apologize. Veeto swallows some retort and nods tersely. So does Neato and Sweetheart. I smile and wave, adjusting the parasite on my forehead, "Well! I gotta go now! Human stuff to do! Bye!"

Walking out, I meet Pincer who, in an odd moment of mistaken identity, lunges for me and growls, "What are you doing here? I've been waiting for someone like you to come along for quite some time; you see, I'm very hungry and I want some dinner NOW!"

"Woah-woah-woah-woah! Pincer! It's me! Bug!" I plead in bug language. He let's go of me and I gasp for air. Man, if I were a bug just then I would've had no problem 'cause my exoskeleton would've protected me from the crushing part of Pincer's crushing grip. But I'm not at the moment. So the crushing grip hurt. And it cut off my air.

"B-B-Bug, my boy! I didn't recognize you in your new human skin." Pincer grins and tilts his head, scanning my (human!) body.

"Nah, 's'okay. I mean, I barely recognized myself so...no problem!" I pat Pincer's claw (which is STILL ginormous, even as a relatively bigger human) and smile up at him. "So...I'm gonna go and get those humans now, kay? You said you were hungry so..."

Pincer nods, "Of course. Sorry about attacking you Bug; it was my stomach talking, you see."

"Yeah, I get it." I walk to the exit of Pincer's hole and wave goodbye to him. He mutters something that vaguely sounds like "utter moron" and waves back. Then I take my first human steps onto the bug world.

Within the first five steps on top of the surface of bug world, I'm tackled by an angrily buzzing Roach. "You filthy Starship Ranger! What have you done with my friend? Where is Bug? Do you understand? Where. Is. Bug? Buuggg. Where is he?" I was about to reply when he screams again, "WHERE IS BUG DAMMIT!"

"Roach, Roach, Roach!" I shout in bug language. Roach's head whips towards me and he glares questioningly. "Relax...it's me. It's Bug."

"Bug?" One of Roach's antennae flicks up in questioning.

"Yeah...Bug. Look, if you could get off of me and let me continue my journey, that would be lovely." I try to shove him off but he shrieks and pushes me further down.

"How do I know you're Bug, huh? You could-you could be tricking me so that you could eat my guts or something." His antennae are pointed forward in suspicion and his tone is that of fear.

"How many humans can speak bug language?" The hair above my eyes furrow (which I can only assume is a human way of expressing a sort of distaste—the bug way is to flick both antennae back and away form each other). "And to top it off, what human would know that you were assigned "Overqueen Impregnator" as your job? And-and what human would know that the human videos give you the creeps 'cause you can't understand them. And who else but Bug, that's me by the way, would know that you're so good-natured that you play "Starship Ranger" with me and you always are the opposing hostile natives and that you die so much better than I do 'cause you do all the things with your mandibles and flopping over and groaning. Who would know these things? Would I know them if I wasn't Bug? Would I?"

Roach's face darkens for a tick-tock and then understanding lights in his compound eyes. He gets off of me and stands back with a mixture of awe and worry playing across his antennae. "Bug?"

"Yeah...sorry if I scared you Roach." I wait for the happy talking to start up, or for Roach to comment on how I looked as a human, but I was surprised at what he really did.

"What the hell is wrong with your Bug? Making yourself a HUMAN? I was sneaking around in there and I thought they were sacrificing you to some ancient god or goddess and Great Mother I was scared. So I dash out here lickety-split and you scare the shit out of me by waltzing up as a human!" Roach pauses to take a breath and then continues, "Why weren't you happy as a bug? You were a well-off ant! You had a sweet job, you had a girl who wanted to rip off your head and let her larvae devour your insides, and you had all the shit you could eat! Why did you have to go and want more? And is this even reversible? Is it?"

I roll my eyes, "Yes it's reversible. Great Mother, do you think I'd be so stupid as to turn myself into a human permanently, do you?"

Roach's antennae flick up and down rapidly, "Well, I never thought that you'd be so stupid as to turn yourself into a human in the first place!"

I blink then sigh, "It's not stupid. I-I finally get to live out my dream! I can finally be a Starship Ranger! And I thought you'd be happy for me. 'Cause, I mean, you get to live out your dream every other life cycle. You could at least be happy that I get one chance to live out mine..."

Roach's face takes on a guilty shade and he groans, "Awwwwww! Fine! Well I can be proud of you for chasing your dream, but that doesn't mean I have to like it!"

"Fair enough." I stand up and crack my neck. Then I proffer my hand to Roach, who takes it and starts to hover around my head, antennae flattened back against his head with the tips touching each other. "Well I have to do this errand for Pincer and save the humans so, if you'll excuse me—"

Roach frowns but hovers to the side, "Be safe Bug," he whispers sadly, "Be safe..."

"I will." And with that I run off towards where I last saw the humans and begin to track them by imagining I was someone on a strange planet full of seemingly hostile giant bugs. And, just as I think I'm never going to find them, I hear them talking. They're trapped in Mister Spider's web and said Spider is about to eat them.

"Stop!" I shout in bug language.

"Who said that?" Mister Spider asked.

"It's me, Bug. These humans are my friends. Please let them go."

"Okay, I didn't know they were your friends!" Mister Spider frees them and scuttles off. The humans start asking me questions and I gather my courage; this is it! I'm about to make contact (as a human)! I step out of the shadows, pushing aside the two pillars of dirt that were in my way, and proudly announce myself. This is the beginning of my great adventure.


End file.
